Title: Rumpelstiltskin

Starring: Tommy Blaze, Kim Johnson Ulrich

Directed By: Mark Jones

Released: 1996

A little piece of me died today.

I see it even now, resting on the seat I had inhabited - to watch this atrocity of a film - never to rise again.

A little piece of me died today.

Somewhere, deep inside. Forever lost to the work - and to myself - never to rise again.

All I have left now is hatred. I hate this movie. I hate me. I hate you. I REALLY hate this movie.

It was my duty to you, to warn you of such films, that kept me confined to my seat. It was as the contraption used on your humble narrator (655321), denying me the luxury to leave the room; denying me the ability to close my eyes.

I do not with to go into the details of this most hideous film, lest I lose all that is left of my humanity. I will merely end here.

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!